Giving Your Newborn the Gift of Routine
[Note: This post was originally posted July 7, 2020 on a previous blog of mine]
Routines for babies are as invaluable as class schedules are for college freshmen. Just as young adults who are away from home for the first time may flourish under the structure which their schedules provide, babies can also thrive when their daily routines become second nature to them.
Whether or not you schedule your baby’s feedings or feed on demand really isn’t what I’m addressing here. The point is that—regardless of your parenting style—having some routines for your baby can truly benefit your child, as well as the entire family, because having those repeated patterns throughout your day can provide everyone in the family with stability and comfort during that transitional period.
I guess the reason I feel it is even necessary to write about this is that I’ve realized it’s easy to forget that babies are simply little humans. As first-time parents, sometimes we don’t even realize that we treat our newborn babies as little science experiments or as new, very precious plants that we’ve just brought home from the store. Instead of focusing on the things we can do to help welcome the new member to the family, we tend to only focus on the feedings, the sleep cycles, the crying. And of course, that’s all important.
But babies are so intuitive. And they’re capable of understanding and feeling so much more than we often give them credit for.
And just as freshman who are urged to stick to their welcome packet schedules from the moment they arrive on campus, babies should have some routines established early on, too.
Like us, babies can smell, taste, feel, hear, and see; therefore, you as a parent can actually communicate with your infant by making use of these amazing human senses. A simple way to do this is by simply implementing some daily routines that make use of those senses.
To illustrate, I want you to really think back on some childhood comforts you might have never told anyone about. The cues you learned as a child. For example, smelling dad’s coffee brewing in the morning meant that dad was in the kitchen and hadn’t left for work yet.
Or, hearing the bath faucet turn on in the evenings meant it was a bath night.
Or how about this—feeling a light touch on your back meant that mom was standing behind you, with you.
On a personal note, I remember the sound of the toaster popping meant that mom had breakfast ready for us. When I became older, I remembered that when the phone rang on Friday nights, it meant that my dad was calling from America.
These cues were special, and they were routine.
So what are some routines we can implement into our lives before the newborn arrives? If you were sitting down with me for coffee, asking me this question, I’d tell you to start with thinking about what your daily routine already looks like. Do you start your day with coffee and eggs? Doing the laundry? Reading the newspaper?
Certainly your life changes when the baby arrives, because you’ll be tired and you might be opting for a power bar more regularly than the frying pan, and you'll have to make adjustments to your own routine when that happens. But knowledge is power, and knowing that whatever your routine will be when the baby comes will be what the baby gets used to is key to making the transition smooth. Ask yourself, what kind of routines to I want my baby to have?
A bedtime routine has been most important routine for us. Our typical bedtime routine includes bathtime (not every night for babies), fresh pajamas (always, always, always), milk, putting on a sleep sack, prayer (and sometimes a book!), long-lasting cuddles, and then bedtime. Our son Charlie has come to expect these steps because we have been doing them for so long, and it has provided us all with expectations for how we know the night will go.
A major benefit of having this bedtime routine has been that we can bring this routine with us anywhere we go. Even in an unfamiliar place during vacations, even if the entire day has gone wrong—baby boy KNOWS he is going to get those cuddles and his sleep sack at night, when everything will be right as rain as he dozes off into a sweet slumber.
I’ve often thought about all this after I’ve put him down for the night, and I admit that I sometimes feel overwhelmed with gratitude for this system and pride for my son. I’m proud when he looks at me, expecting something. I think, I did that. I taught him how to do that. And I think there’s familial value in the trust you instill in your little one when you implement routines. It builds this beautiful relationship based on trust and dependence on each other.
But maybe you’re here because you’re already convinced and passionate about setting down some routines when your little one arrives. If so, I’ll pass on some ideas for what you can do:
Always put baby to sleep in the same place at night
If your baby sleeps well in a swing, plan 1-2 naps during the day in the swing
Do tummy time at your baby’s happiest time of the day—perhaps the morning, every morning
Plan 15 minutes a day, maybe sometime in the afternoon, for just talking, reading, singing to your baby—I’ve done this since Charlie was a few weeks old and I think it’s helped us with communication
Have a bedtime routine
These are some of the routines that helped us have direction and purpose, especially in those first months that may sometimes seem endless and lonely (I'm talking to all you stay-at-home moms!). Hope this post inspires you and helps in some way. Happy Parenting <3
Grace
