What Are You Feeding Your Baby?

[Note: This post was originally posted June 25, 2020 on a previous blog of mine]

This is not yet another post on the benefits of breastfeeding over formula-feeding or anything like that. I simply want to show you what your options are when it comes to deciding what you're going to feed your newborn.

So, your options are...

• Breastfeeding

• Formula feeding

• Pumping

• Buying breastmilk

• A mixture of any or all of the above

So, we did all of the above at some point in the last year, apart from “buying breastmilk.” That being said, though we were overall pleased with how Charlie's first year of eating went, there are some things I wish I'd known before we had him.

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that a non-negotiable for me was feeding my baby breastmilk. I was set on doing it, even if I had to pump and feed it to him from a bottle. I ended up breastfeeding my son till he was 11 months old (I tried to make it to 12 months, but that’s another story!) I plan to write a post about my experience with it soon. For the 12th month, we used leftover frozen pumped breast milk and some formula. Around the six-month mark, when I started back at work, I noticed a dip in my milk production. Being too stressed at the time to think about pumping, I reluctantly introduced Charlie to 2 oz of formula at night, when I felt my supply was at its lowest. If I could go back in time to those days, I’d tell myself to stop freaking out and that I was doing the best I could at the time for us.

Because I have PCOS, I struggled with making my milk come in on its own in the beginning (pretty typical) but had a lot of help and advice from a lactation consultant. Most of the advice included using a pump, which I did religiously the first six months of Charlie’s life, and to which I now attribute to my success in breastfeeding at all. I stopped pumping when I started back work at six months, and that’s when my supply really dipped. But the pumped milk I had saved over the course of the six months was great in the second half of that year.

So, really, I ended up doing it all, apart from buying breastmilk from other women. I have nothing much to say about that except that I just didn’t want Charlie drinking another woman’s milk. I’m jealous like that.

Here are my thoughts on each method of feeding, the pros and cons.

Breastfeeding

You don’t need me to tell you that breastmilk is obviously going to be the best kind of milk for your baby. Scientists say it, mothers say it, heck, even the formula cans say it! Human breastmilk is made by a human for a human. Besides the nutritional benefits breastmilk have, the act of breastfeeding itself is said to have great benefits as well. Hence, it didn’t take much to convince me that this was the way I wanted to go. There are so many excellent articles that will pop up if you simply search "breastfeeding benefits."

That being said, do I think your child will be dumber than my child, or unhealthier in the long run, if you choose to not feed your child breastmilk? Definitely not. Life is way more complicated than that, and I believe the development of one’s health and physiology is reliant on more than just the kind of milk he drinks.

But, obviously, this is the biggest pro of breastfeeding; you’d be feeding your baby the best kind of milk available to him.

Another pro would be that breastmilk is free. It’s also always going to be readily available—no warming up necessary. A lot of women argue that breastfeeding is also the most convenient method, too, but I really think that depends on your lifestyle. I wasn’t interested in breastfeeding in public at all, especially since we were on schedules and I had no issue with planning outings around feeding sessions. So I personally did NOT find it convenient. But I can definitely see how breastfeeding would be convenient for a woman who doesn’t mind nursing in public.

The cons to breastfeeding may seem minor and invalid to the mother who is vocally “breast-is-best,” but I want to take a moment to discuss the cons even I experienced with breastfeeding.

First, it hurt like a mother. I mean, I was in so much pain the first two months that I cried every. single. time. That’s a lot of crying considering newborns eat around the clock.

Also, because I didn’t want to nurse in front of people (more because I’m such an awkward human than anything else) I would sometimes wish I could just give him a bottle so I didn’t feel the need to leave. Again, I get that most moms today don’t mind nursing in public, but I just didn’t want to. So I just shut my mouth and scheduled feedings around outings and visits.

Another con is that the words milk supply will literally always be on your mind. Am I making enough? Did I drink enough water today? Why does he look thinner today? With bottles, you can see how much you’re giving your kid at each feeding.

Additionally, that feeling of “oneness with your child” people talk about in regards to breastfeeding should really be described more as “annoyingly always in demand.” There were days I felt overwhelmed that he needed my body so much.

Formula-feeding

We live in a day where babies can survive and—don’t you dare deny it—thrive off of factory-made powder! Instead of bashing these companies that don’t use ingredients you approve of, take a second to think of all the moms who’ve had to use formula, and all the precious babies that have been given a chance because of it. I am thankful.

An obvious pro of formula-feeding your baby is the convenience of it. You can bring it anywhere and life stops a tad less than when you’re breastfeeding. For example, you can give a baby bottle in his car seat (I don’t know that this is safe, but we did it!) You can also hand the baby off to dad or grandma or whoever so you can get more rest. MAJOR pros right there.

Being able to measure out feedings is a HUGE plus, too. It can definitely take the stress off of knowing if baby’s getting enough.

And of course, going back to work is much easier if you use daycare as you can just give them the formula to feed your baby.

For the cons, the biggest one is that formula is really expensive. Especially if you get name brands.

Another con for us was that we really hated the smell of it and felt awful feeding something that smelled so bad to our son. However, we got over it when we saw how much he liked it.

The last con is personal to me--it's that even though your formula might be a really good formula, it’s still not breastmilk.

Pumping

So I have a love-late relationship with pumping. Pumping milk to feed to a baby later on seems like a solution to some of the issues mentioned earlier, right? For example, if you’re worried that your baby isn't eating enough from the breast, but you refuse to give your baby formula, doesn’t giving it pumped breastmilk solve that issue??

Well, yes, it does.

But tell that to the woman who is sitting by herself hooked up to a machine that is sucking the juices out of her.

I loathed pumping, but loved the results of it.

The pros of pumping are that it can help boost your supply, it can help stimulate flow if you do it before a nursing session, it can help you build a freezer stash of milk, and it can help ease your mind if you’re very concerned about all of the above.

The cons are that pumping is draining (ha-ha), and that sometimes if you feed your baby too often from a bottle, they start preferring the bottle to the breast. Unless, of course, you decide you want to solely pump and do that. Then, of course, this would be a pro!

Another con is that if you are pumping only, and not breastfeeding, I’ve heard that sometimes your supply will go down.

But thank heavens for pumps! Mine was definitely an investment.

Buying Breastmilk

I won’t talk about this one much, because it’s just not something I’ll ever do. I have no problem with the act of it per se, but just as I’d never hire a wet nurse, I’ll never buy someone else’s breastmilk.

But you should know that this IS a viable option out there! And one that I know some woman even feel very strongly about! There are some really cool companies out there where you can buy breastmilk. Do a quick internet search if that’s something you’re interested in and research before doing it as always. Also it wouldn’t hurt to see if your state has any laws against the selling and buying of breastmilk. I’ve heard it’s become a political thing lately.

A Mixture of Methods

I feel like most people end up doing a mixture of everything. I tend to give myself a hard time about falling into this category, too, because I had so badly wanted to ONLY breastfeed the first year. But the reality of it is that the most important thing at the end of the day is that the baby gets food. There’s nothing morally wrong with doing a little of each with your baby if you need to and if he takes to it. I feel like doing this made my child really flexible, and that was a pro we never expected to get from this.

So there you have it. All your options laid out for you. Let me know if you think of something I missed! :) I hope it helps you as you think through all your options. Good luck, parent!

Grace